My beloved spiritual children in Christ Our Only True God and Our Only True Savior,
CHRIST IS IN OUR MIDST! HE WAS, IS, AND EVER SHALL BE. Ο ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ ΕΝ ΤΩ ΜΕΣΩ ΗΜΩΝ! ΚΑΙ ΗΝ ΚΑΙ ΕΣΤΙ ΚΑΙ ΕΣΤΑΙ.
THE HOME CHURCH
An Abbess (Egoumenisa or Gerontisa) of a Women's Monastery
As one holy elder (geronta) said: "The devil rages against each of our young ones with fiery breath." I think the "problem" is that the advice most parents need, they don't want, since it involves them giving up their precious time on the various devices. Or, the parents want to live a comfortable lifestyle, one that requires the mother to work also, and so the home loses its sacred character because the mother is absent. People don't want to admit this, but it is possible to live on much less for the sake of the children if there is motivation. A lot of it is about money and the level of comfort people want to have, and so most are unwilling to sacrifice comfort or monetary security for the sake of the children.
Another point is that we have mostly lost the vision of what the home church is; that it includes the right ordering of authority in the home, including the father being under the authority of a spiritual father, the wife being in submission, and the children being raised to give loving obedience. Because it is all so disordered, people then turn to the externals of piety and depend on them instead. There is so much to say here.
There are those who are raising their children with great protection, teaching them respect for authority, teaching them to love work, and homeschooling them for the most part. Then there are those in the middle, who take a broader way, but who many times end up raising well-balanced children who stay in the Church. Then you have those who are against any kind of real spiritual life--rare, if any, Confession; no fasting; no prayer life; no sacramental life; no worship; sports as the center of their child's life; and in so many other ways are worldly (secular) and want everyone else to subscribe to the same ideas.
I recently glanced through a book entitled Already Gone, which talks about how we lose children from the Church early, much before they are ready to move out of the home. I believe it is those middle years that are the most critical (the younger years are easier and more pleasurable for the parent; perhaps parents lose interest a little as the child grows and has more difficult needs to meet), although the foundation must also be laid well, for it is then that a young man or woman begins to decide which model they will follow--the celebrities in the world, or their parents' example, and that of other serious young people. In the end, I believe most of it depends on the parents' investment in the child--emotionally, spiritually and through spending time with them. Alas, no one seems to have any time!
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House Blessings
Any time your family moves invite your priest to bless your home. Also remember to have him come each year after Theophany (Epiphany). Make sure your children are home for the blessing. It is quite special. Perhaps invite your priest and his wife (Presbytera) to dinner that night so you can become better acquainted.
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Bless Our Home
Our days begin with lighting incense and blessing all the rooms and holy icons in the house. As the children and the number of holy icons grew, so did the prayers. The children have memorized all their morning prayers in this way, and the house feels calm, for a few minutes anyway! Active young children love to process around the house in the trail of a parent with a censer blessing everything, praying, chanting. If you don't do this every day, at least do it on Saturday nights. We read recently that incense has been "scientifically proven" to elevate mood, lift depression, though our thought was that, as Orthodox Christians praying with incense, it is our prayers and relationship with Christ that elevates our mood. Still, I must say that I love the smell of our home after prayers.
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Prayer Corner
We have holy icons throughout our home and see them as an important expression of our faith. It is a family tradition for us to have an icon made for each child depicting his/her Patron Saints, altogether in the dining room with Christ and the Theotokos (Mother of God) in the center of the icon arrangement. This is where we gather for prayers as a Christian family. Each child also has an icon of his Patron Saint by his bed. In Orthodox Christian homes where holy icons are hard to find or even non-existent, something seems wrong. We always have our home and cars blessed after the holy Feast of Theophany. Our children follow the priest from room to room as we all sing together the responses and holy hymns.
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Icons at Home
An icon corner in the bedroom (including a small version for children) is critical for establishing a habit of prayer. An appropriate holy icon in each room is helpful. (Saint Euphrosynos in the kitchen, the Mystical (Last) Supper in the dining room, etc.)
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Silent Lessons
Archbishop Ambrose (Klucharev)--+1901
"Christian parents bring their children to Him and stand them before Him in that holy school which is called the Church. Here, upbringing is pursued according to all the laws of human development. The mother, the object of all the love and tenderness of the child, stands with a reverent expression and prays before the Savior's holy icon; the child looks at her, and then the holy icon, and does not require long explanations of what it means. This is the first, silent lesson of the knowledge of God." (Orthodox Christian Parenting: Cultivating God's Creation by Zoe Press)
(Next: All Things Beautiful)
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"Glory Be To GOD For All Things!"--Saint John Chrysostom
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With sincere agape in His Holy Diakonia,
The sinner and unworthy servant of God
+Father George