My beloved spiritual children in Christ Our Only True God and Our Only True Savior,CHRIST IS IN OUR MIDST! HE WAS, IS, AND EVER SHALL BE.
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THE LIFE OF SAINT MARY OF EGYPT (Part II)
Abba (Father) Zosimas asked: "Can it be that without getting ill you have lived so many years thus, without suffering in any way from such a complete change?" The woman answered: "You remind me, Father Zosimas, of what I dare not speak of, for when I recall all the dangers that I overcame, and all the violent thoughts that confused me, I am again afraid that they will take possession of me." Zosimas said: "Do not hide from me anything; speak to me without concealing anything."
And she said to him: "Believe me, Abba (Father), seventeen years I passed in this desert fighting wild beasts--mad desires and passions. But when such desires entered me, I struck myself on the breast and reminded myself of the vow that I had made when going into the desert. In my thoughts, I returned to the icon of the Mother of God who had received me, and to her, I cried in prayer. I implored her to chase away the thoughts to which my miserable soul was succumbing. And, after weeping for long and beating my breast, I used to see light at last, which seem to shine on me from everywhere. And after the violent storm, lasting calm descended...
"...Father Zosimas asked her: "Can it be that you did not need food and clothing?" She answered: "After finishing the loaves I had, of which I spoke, for seventeen years I have fed on herbs and all that can be found in the desert. The clothes that I had when I crossed the Jordan became torn and worn out. I suffered greatly from both the cold and extreme heat: at times the sun burned me up, and at other times I shivered from the frost; frequently falling to the ground, I lay without breath and without motion. I struggled with many afflictions and with terrible temptations. I have as imperishable food the hope of salvation. I am fed and clothed by the All-Powerful Word of God, the Lord of all; for it is not by bread alone that man lives. I often reflect on the evils which the power of our Lord has delivered me from, in numerous ways, and has guarded my sinful soul and humble body; for those that have stripped off the rags of sin, there is the refuge in Him and, by faith and the hope of obtaining a better resurrection, they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth."
Hearing that she cited words of Holy Scripture, from Moses and Job, Father Zosimas asked her: "And so you have read the psalms and other works?" She smiled at this and said to the elder: "Believe me, I have not seen a human face ever since I crossed the Jordan, except your today. I have not seen a beast or a living being ever since I came into the desert. I never learned from books. I have never even heard anyone who sang and read from them. But the Word of God, which is alive and active, by itself teaches a man knowledge. And so this is the end of my tale. But, as I asked you in the beginning, so even now I implore you for the sake of the Incarnate Logos/Word of God, to pray to the Lord for me who am such a sinner."
Thus concluding her tale, she bowed down before him. And with tears, the elder exclaimed: "Blessed is God Who creates the great and wondrous, the glorious and marvelous rewards those who fear Him. Truly, O Lord, You do not forsake those who seek You!" And the woman, not allowing the elder to bow before her, said: "I beg you, holy father, for the sake of Jesus Christ our God and Savior, tell no one what you have heard, until God delivers me of this earth. And now depart in peace and again, next year, you shall see me, and I you, if God will preserve us in His great mercy. But for God's sake as I ask you: Next year during Lent do not cross the Jordan, as is your custom in the monastery." Father Zosimas was amazed to hear that she knew the rules of the monastery and could only say: "Glory to God Who bestows great gifts on those who love Him." She continued: "Remain, abba (father), in the monastery. And even if you wish to depart, you will not be able to do so. And at sunset of the holy day of the Mystical ("Last") Supper, put some of the Life-Giving Body and Blood of Christ into a holy vessel worthy to hold such Mysteries for me, and it. And wait for me on the banks of the river Jordan adjoining the inhabited parts of the land, so that I can come and partake of the Life-Giving Gifts. For, since the time I communicated in the Temple of the Forerunner before crossing the river Jordan even to this day I have to approach the Holy Mysteries (Sacraments).
And I thirst for them with irrepressible love and longing. And, therefore, I ask and implore you to grant me my wish, bring me the Life-Giving Mysteries at the very hour when our Lord made His Disciples partake of His Divine Supper. Tell John the Abbot (Egoumenos) of the monastery where you live 'Look to yourself and to your brothers, for there is much that needs correction.' Only do not say this now, but when God guides you. Pray for me!"
With these words, she vanished into the depths of the desert. And Father Zosimas, falling down on his knees and bowing down to the ground on which she had stood, sent up glory and thanks to God. And, after wandering through the desert, he returned to the Monastery on the day that all the brothers returned.
For the whole year, he kept silent, not daring to tell anyone of what he had seen. But in his soul, he prayed to God to give him another chance to see the ascetic's dear face. And when at length the First Sunday of the Great Fast came, all went out into the desert with the customary prayers and the singing of psalms. Only Father Zosimas was held back by illness--he lay in a fever. And then he remembered what the Saint had said to him: "And even if you wished to depart, you will not be able to do so."
Many days passed and, at last, recovering from his illness, he remained in the monastery. And when again the monks returned and the day of the Mystical Supper (Great and Holy Thursday) dawned, he did as he had been ordered. Placing some of the Most Pure Body and Blood into a small chalice and putting some figs and dates and lentils soaked in water into a small basket, he departed for the desert and reached the banks of the river Jordan and sat down to wait for the Saint. He waited for a long time and began to pray: "Grant me, O Lord, to behold what You have allowed me to behold once. Do not let me depart in vain, bearing the burden of my sins." And then another thought struck him: "And what if she does come? There is no boat; how will she cross the river Jordan to come to me who am so unworthy?"
As he was pondering this, he saw the holy woman appear and stand on the other side of the river. Zosimas got up, rejoicing and glorifying and thanking God. Again the thought came to him that she could not cross the Jordan. Then he saw that she made the sign of the Cross over the waters (and the night was a moonlit one, as he related afterward), and then she at once stepped on the waters and began walking across the surface towards him. When he wanted to prostrate himself, she cried to him, while still walking on the water: "What are you doing, Abba (Father), you are a priest and carrying the Divine Gifts!" He obeyed her, and on reaching the shore, she said to him: "Bless, father, bless me!" He answered her trembling, for a state of confusion had overcome him at the sight of the miracle. “Truly God did what He promised that when we purify ourselves we shall be like Him. Glory to You, Christ Our God, Who has shown me, through this Your servant how, far away I stand from perfection."
Here the woman asked him to say the Symbol of Faith and the Lord's Prayer. He began; she finished the prayer and, according to the custom of that time, gave him the kiss of peace on his lips. Having partaken of the Holy Mysteries (Sacraments), she raised her hands to heaven and sighed with tears in her eyes, exclaiming: "Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace, O Lord, according to Thy word, for my eyes have seen Thy salvation." Then she said to the elder: "Forgive me, abba (father), for asking you, but fulfill another wish of mine. Go now to the monastery and let God's grace guard you. And next year come again to the same place where I first met you. Come for God's sake, for you shall again see me, for such is the will of God." He said to her: "From this day on I would like to follow you and always see your holy face. But now fulfill the one and only wish of an old man and take a little of the food I have brought for you." And he showed her the basket, while she just touched the lentils with the tips of her fingers and, taking three grains, said that the Holy Spirit guards the substance of the soul unpolluted. Then she said: "Pray, for God's sake for me and remember a miserable wretch."
Touching the Saint's feet and asking for her prayers for the Church, the kingdom and himself, he let her depart with tears, while he went off sighing and sorrowful, for he could not hope to vanquish the invincible. Meanwhile, she again made the sign of the Cross over the river Jordan and stepped onto the waters and crossed over as before. And the elder returned filled with joy and terror, accusing himself of not having asked the Saint her name. But he decided to do so next year. (Source: The Lives of the Saints of the Holy Land and the Sinai Desert)
(To be continued)
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"Glory Be To GOD For All Things!" -- Saint John Chrysostom
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With sincere agape in His Holy Diakonia (Ministry),The sinner and unworthy servant of God
+ Father George